Burlesque

Directed By: Steve Antin

Cast: Christina Aguilera, Cher, Cam Gigandet, Stanley Tucci

Rating: 5/10

It is rare that a pop singer will rise from the stage to shine on the silver screen. Arguably the most dazzling of these popstars/actresses has been Cher, who lit up the screen in such gems as Witness, Moonstruck and The Witches of Eastwick. She even went on to win an Oscar for her rich performance in Moonstruck. Past pop sirens have tried and failed to replicate Cher’s success; Britney (Crossroads), Mariah Carey (Glitter, Precious), Miley Cyrus (The Last Song) and now it’s Christina Aguilera’s turn. We know she’s got the pipes but does she have the chops for acting?

Burlesque is an easy film to slag. It’s a bit too easy a target and from the guffaws of the audience it’s easy to imagine we have another Glitter on our hands. It isn’t quite a disaster of those proportions and is possibly a future guilty pleasure for a lot of people due to some fun set pieces, truly remarkable costumes and just the general camp aesthetic of it all.

Ali (Xtina) is a small-town waitress with no family, a mean boss and a depressing job. So one day she closes the restaurant, sings on the table-tops, then heads off on a bus to L.A. She is down on her luck, wide-eyed, naive and penniless. That is until she encounters The Burlesque Lounge, a crumbling burlesque theatre with no money but lots of heart. Ali is smitten and is determined to earn her place on their stage. She blags her way into a waitressing job and befriends the kindly barman Jack (Twilight’s Cam Gigandet), whilst both infuriating and charming Cher’s fading star Tess along the way.

Jack is happily engaged to Natalie, played by Glee’s resident naughty catholic schoolgirl, Dianna Agron, but things are rocky, a fact which isn’t helped by Ali sleeping on their couch while Natalie is away. It isn’t long before Jack and Ali’s friendship deepens but you’d be surprised how long the writers tease the audience before giving them some of the most bizarre foreplay ever committed to celluloid.

Needless to say, Ali is soon revealed to be the club’s greatest asset and might just save the joint before the bank forces them to sell to slimy investor, and Ali’s potential love interest, Marcus (Eric Dane). But can she come out of her shell enough to get the crowds in? Can she defeat resident bitch, Kristen Bell? And can she realise before it’s too late that Marcus is a sleazy capitalist who is only interested in her for her moneymaking potential?

Burlesque is a truly ridiculous affair. All dazzle, no edge but nonetheless a guilty pleasure of sorts. The script was originally written by Juno’s Diablo Cody who knows a thing or two about burlesque given her background as an exotic dancer. However, it is clear the script has been tinkered with beyond all recognition. I found myself longing to feel Cody’s presence in the film, despite my usual nonchalance about her work, but this feels like her territory and her draft was probably a lot edgier than this.

If you have any tolerance for this kind of nonsense and you are expecting the worst then you might buy into the stylistic opulence it serves up. The costumes are glorious, the Rob Marshall-lite performances are great fun and of course Christina’s vocals are incredible. Cher is unfortunately less successful musically. She still has the voice but her diction is somewhat garbled due to her stiff, botoxed face. The role of Tess is great fun for her I’m sure but the film is just so saccharine that she doesn’t get a chance to get down and dirty with the role. Christina’s acting is nothing to get excited about unfortunately. She isn’t terrible, but the character of Ali is just so ridiculously doe-eyed that it’s impossible to take her seriously.

Be prepared for a silly plot, some hammy performances, a lot of skin (but no bare breasts, don’t get too excited) and visual candy. If you know what you’re in for you might just enjoy this mess of glitter and tassles! Oh and it earns a whole extra star for Stanley Tucci’s marvellous presence!

 - Charlene Lydon

Easy A

Directed by: Will Gluck

Starring: Emma Stone, Amanda Bynes, Aly Michalka, Stanley Tucci, Patricia Clarkson, Lisa Kudrow.

Rating: 6/10

One of the greatest teen movies ever made, Clueless, was an update of Austen's Clueless. Likewise, Easy A is modern take on Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter, this update is not half as clever or as relevant as it's predecessor. Olive is a funky, spunky, teenage girl who is well-liked but not really noticed in the social world of her high school. A bookish, witty and quietly hot young woman with a heart of gold, Olive accidentally lands herself in hot water by telling her overbearing best friend (Michalka) that she had lost her virginity. This tiny lie explodes all over school as the leader of a Christian mob (Bynes) spreads the rumour around like wildfire. As a favour to her gay friend, Olive agrees to pretend they have had sex so will stop getting bullied. Soon, she is accepting payment for saying she’s had sex with all the geeks and losers in school who hope that it will make them more appealing to girls. However, it isn’t long until the somewhat well-intentioned Olive finds herself in way over her head.

Easy A is a very entertaining film with some colourful supporting characters and a fantastic ensemble cast. Patricia Clarkson and Stanley Tucci play Olive’s overly liberal, ex-hippy parents and are adorably quirky, yet extremely warm. Both characters give the film some of the depth that the shallow void of high school social politics takes away. Lisa Kudrow is also impressive as the school guidance counsellor who finds herself in a very tricky predicament. But enough about the grown-ups, this film’s young cast are all fantastic too! Emma Stone is a star on the rise since she appeared in Judd Apatow’s Superbad and easily graduates to leading lady playing the complex heroine of the film. She has a wonderful girl-next-door quality and is a likeable balance of attractive and ordinary-looking. She has great comic timing and ability to evoke warmth and chemistry with everyone she shares screen time with.

A major flaw in the film, despite Emma Stone’s great screen presence is that the character of Olive is poorly characterised and her change from confident young outcast to attention-seeking vixen is disarming and, unfortunately takes away from the film’s considerable charm in other departments. Olive is adorable and her change to corset-wearing vamp doesn’t quite gel with the smart, self-assured young women at the start of the film.

There’s something quite old-fashioned about Easy A. It seems to suggest that having teenage sex is shocking. I can’t imagine that there’s a high school in America (or anywhere in the western world) where a girl would become a celebrity because she admits to having lost her virginity. In many ways the film has a lot to say about teenagers and it goes to great pains to steer clear of patronising them, but there is nothing progressive about Olive’s story.

These flaws, though fundamental can’t dampen the high spirits of the film and the charming big heart that it wears on its sleeve. The script is at times eloquent, always hilarious and though it brandishes its John Hughes references a little too heavily at times, it does evoke his intuitive, respectful love of teenagers.

This is an enjoyable teen movie that could have been the next Mean Girls but misses the mark by poor characterisation. It’s still a fun trip to the cinema though!

The Lovely Bones

"I wasn't lost, or frozen, or gone... I was alive; I was alive in my own perfect world. "


Written by:
Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson

Directed by:
Peter Jackson

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Stanley Tucci, Mark Wahlberg

Rating: 7/10

It’s not that The Lovely Bones doesn’t have its moments of mind-blowing cinematic incredibleness, it’s just that such moments are all too fleeting. The first thirty minutes of this film was really impressive. It is beautiful, moving, tense, terrifying, involving and it instils a sadness into the audience because we know what is soon to become of the charming, fresh-faced Susie Salmon. The first act explains how Susie died and runs through her last moments. Knowing what is about to happen to her, I found the murder scene to be one of the most horrible things I’ve seen all year… and I’ve seen Antichrist! Gore-free, this sequence is horrifying because of Stanley Tucci’s menacing Ned Flanders-esque child killer. He is certainly the creepiest villain of the year and up there with the best of ‘em for inspiring nightmares later that night.

However, soon after Susie enters the “in-between”, a heavenly world that she inhabits with some random girl for no good reason (no spoilers here but the reason we learn later is very silly) the film begins to slow, sweeping itself up in the crazy visuals of a world created by a young girl’s imagination. Mostly, this world sucked! It was a little bit cheesy, which is something to be avoided when you’re telling a story with such big cheese potential to begin with. Running through meadows, dressed in silly hats just got annoying very quickly. The major problem with these not-quite heavenly interludes however is the fact that it distracts from the story, which is put on hold for the frolicking. To me, this was the fatal flaw of The Lovely Bones. Once we got back to the Salmon family, things started to look up. The story got back on track and the film was, once again, masterful. Peter Jackson proves why he is a household name. He is a beautiful filmmaker that can command exactly the right tone from his actors. Mark Wahlberg as the obsessed father and Rachel Weisz as the mourning mother were perfect in their roles. Susan Sarandon had a bit too much fun hamming it up in her role as frivolous, glamorous Grandma Lynn, but nevertheless she was charming to watch as always.

Undoubtedly, the stars of this film are young Saoirse Ronan, the best young actress working today in my opinion (and not just because she hails from my hometown), and Stanley Tucci. Saoirse’s performance was a lovely balance of melancholy, wide-eyed innocence and wisdom. She conveyed the character of Susie beautifully and by the midpoint of the film you really get a sense of individuality from this character. You know her like a friend, which seriously ups the tragedy factor. Because not only do you know her, you really like her. Stanley Tucci, on the other hand, is stone cold evil personified. He delivers an Oscar-worthy performance dripping with menace. He is frightening because he calls to mind the creepy man who lives on your street that you label as “harmless, but weird”. But this one is by no means harmless. This actor is a pro and horribly underused in Hollywood. If wishes were movies, mine would be filled with Stanley Tucci.

And speaking of wishes, couldn’t Peter Jackson have just streamlined his movie a little more, left the CGI on the cutting room floor and given us a story about a young girl trying to move on and the family she can’t leave behind? If he had done that, I think this would have been an incredible film.

This is a gripping thriller, a truly emotional drama, a supernatural teen movie and an arthouse film. While it would have been much better if Jackson had managed to balance these factors more gracefully, there is much to enjoy here. And certainly worth watching if only for the two great lead performances.

- Charlene Lydon 20/1/10