Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Jonas Brothers: The 3D Experience

"So this is where the story ends, A conversation on IM, Well I'm done with texting, Sorry for the miscommunication"

Starring: Joe Jonas, Nick Jonas, Kevin Jonas

Directed By: Bruce Hendricks

My rating: 2/5

The Disney machine has done it again. A money-making machine of epic proportion! They own the Jonas Brothers, they made millions from ticket sales on the Jonas Brothers Burnin’ Up World Tour and now they’re making many more millions from a 3D movie that cost next to nothing to produce. All money made off the brothers Jonas goes back into the machine. Much like Ms. Hannah Montana, the Jonas Brothers phenomenon has proven to be very lucrative. Unlike Hannah Montana however, the Jonas Brothers aren’t cute bubblegum pop. They are faux-rock stars complete with skinny jeans and Jagger strut. I can’t say how irritating these charlatan musicians are to grown-ups. There’s absolutely no appeal to people above the age of 15, hence the lack of airtime on the radio. On the other hand, their own demographic pump enough money and hysteria into them to make up for the rest of us.

The 3D concert experience is every 11year old girl’s dream. The sexually charged men who are supposed to appeal to pre-adolescent girls is kind of creepy and the sexy looks and winks straight into the camera looks are very uncomfortable in 3D! I was lucky enough to attend the press screening with a group of school children who had also been invited along. I say lucky because how much you like this movie completely depends on your feelings on the Jonas Brothers. These girls really allowed me to gauge the reaction of its intended audience and if they’re anything to go by, the kids are going to lap this up! They sang and squealed and raised their arms in the air and clapped and cheered like they were seeing the real thing. I thought this was charming, if a little too much like brainwashing, because seriously this music is godawful!

The movie is roughly half concert, half documentary about a day in the life of the boys. However, I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling that much of the “documentary” segment felt a lot like an episode of The Monkees only without the humour or charisma. There were scenes where the guys had to make a mad run across Manhattan from a bunch of screaming girls and had to eventually be taken away by helicopter, their only means of escape. It’s a shame because I bet a day in the life of the brothers would actually be very interesting without the fiction added in. The 3D has very little function except to feel a bit more up close and personal with the boys and a few little effects like the crowd being hosed down with foam (insert nasty allegory here) and Joe throwing his sunglasses at the camera. However, it is all part of the fun and the kids I saw it with were enthralled.

The music is awful, Joe, Nick and Kevin are smarmy and dull, but don’t underestimate the power of the Disney machine to use hyperbole and peer pressure to create hysteria about a product. The Jonas Brothers are that product and 3D is just another gimmick to get bums into seats. My guess is it will work a charm, but there’s definitely nothing here, except frustration, for anyone who’s not a fan.

- Charlene Lydon 23/05/09

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