The Top of the Stairs

Here is me n Bren's "experiment in terror" :) We decided to see what would happen if we made a film completely with just the two of us. We shot, acted, edited, make-upped, musicked and directed it with just one camera and two people. To be fair, I did little more than act in it. It's Bren's baby.

It's only intention is to give a bit of a scare. Hope it works...let me know, leave a comment.

Charlene

Me and Orson Welles

"You know what I see when I look in your eyes...I see images of magnificence"

Written by: Holly Gent Palmo
Directed by: Richard Linklater
Starring: Zac Efron, Christian McKay, Claire Danes

My rating: 8/10

OK, I am totally weak for films that are fictional but based around true events. I love that. Films that could very well be true, but aren't, necessarily. Me and Orson Welles is a wonderful story of a young boy whose only acting experience is in high school musicals (ha! See what I did there) who manages to get a small part in Orson Welles 1937 production of Julius Caesar. The film follows the volatile relationship between Orson and his company. He is a madman, a selfish, arrogant user and an absolute genius. He knows how the politics of showbusiness and he knows people, and how to play them. However, for all his antics, he is powerfully charismatic and it seems generally accepted that he is a genius.

Christian McKay's performance here as Orson Welles is wonderfully broad as he goes through every one of Orson Welles personas with equal relish. He is snappy and arrogant but at the same time warm enough to earn some affection so when he lets a character down, you feel just as played yourself. The rest of the cast were great too. Zac Efron has been getting a lot of flack for being dull, but I personally thought he was solid and likeable, with just enough of a sparkle in his eye and just enough skill to keep it there after his inevitable fall from grace.

Overall this film has a charming, if predictable, story, a very strong cast and most importantly a sweet disposition that left me smiling for a good half hour after the credits rolled.

- Charlene Lydon 6/10/08

Rue Morgue's Festival of Fear

Me and Brad Dourif



Being a fan of the horror genre for years and years, I was very excited to hear about Rue Morgue's Festival of Fear. Not only do I love horror but I'm also a fan of all things cinematic so the fact that entry to the Festival of Fear also gives you entry to the entire Hobbystar Fan Expo meant I would get to experience the sci-fi side of things too.

The whole weekend was really fun and informative so I thought I should give it some space on my blog.

First off, Friday evening I arrived at the convention and not only is the place full to the brim of crazy costumed nerds, but it's bleedin' massive! Seriously this place is enormous and full of nerd stalls where you buy nerd things and people going around in costumes and nerdy people duelling with light sabers and whatnot. That evening I just wandered and checked out which celebs were signing and took sneaky pictures of Fonzie who was charmingly doing his coin trick from Click with a little kid (anyone not familiar with Click, see my review). There were no screenings or Q&A's that day so it was basically wandering. I checked out this exhibit on Death Photography which was a really interesting phenomenon in the late 19th century where people would photograph their dead loved ones, propped up, pretending to be alive. This was because photography was just coming into its own around this time so people had no photos of their loved ones so in desperation they would do it after they died, as it was their last chance. Really interesting, if horribly morbid, stuff. The photographs are really REALLY weird. That evening, after the convention ended there was a screening of Faster Pussycat Kill Kill. John Waters says it's the greatest film ever made. I say it's up there. The screening was wonderful. Russ Meyer's beautiful (and not celebrated enough) black and white cinematography looked fantastic on the big screeen and watching that movie with the right audience really makes you appreciate the great comic lines and the richness of the delivery. There's definitely somehting special about it that sets it apart from other trash classics and it's certainly the jewel in Meyer's crown.

The lead actress and burlesque icon, Tura Satana was at the screening and gave a bit of a chat afterwards which was really nice. She was fascinating a spoke a lot about the background of making the movie. She's a tough girl and spoke a little about her rape-revenge gang days (I shit you not). It was pretty harrowing. She's certainly learned to deal with her anger though because the woman on that stage was a bubby, charming woman, not the scowlingly sumptuous villainess we know and love from the movies.

Next morning I had to get up bright and early for a screening of Black Christmas (the 1974 Canadian film, not the shit remake from last year). I had never seen it and I was pleasantly surprised to find that it's actually brilliant, like seriously BRILLIANT and pre-dates Halloween by 4 years making it the king of the stalk n slash genre, also it predates Halloween's use of the killer POV camerawork. Hmmm, tell that to those history books. There was a panel discussion later that day with three of the films stars, its cameraman and composer. That was fascinating and it was nice to see John Saxon who you may know as Nancy's cop dad in A Nightmare on Elm Street and Art Hindle who was in one of my favourite Cronenberg movies, The Brood. So, that was a treat. Although the cast and crew have gone on to bigger and better things since the film was made 35 years ago, they all had lots to say about it and it ended up being a really interesting panel. Interestingly enough, there is one shot in the film of the killer, he is shrouded in shadow and difficult to recognise. It seems nobody knows who played him. Everyone seems to forget and peoples guesses are all conflicting. I kinda like that. Gives it a bit of mystery, oooooh!

After that was a Q&A with Wes Craven which I was very excited about but I was kinda disappointed in. I dunno, he was just a bit closed and not that interesting. He did tell a wonderful story about the man who inspired the creation of Freddy Krueger...a creepy man standing outside his bedroom window. When the man saw Wes looking at home, he caught his eye, gave a really horrible grin and walked into his building..little Wes freaked out and got his brother to go look outside the apartment with his baseball bat. Creepy imagery. He spoke a little about the folding of New Line into Warner Brothers and the implications of that regarding the remake. Basically that nobody has much of a say in the matter. He spoke highly of the remake of Last House on the Left. He said it was really well-recieved in the first screenings. I'll reserve my judgement until I see it but I'm wary to say the least.

After that (actually during that, I had to leave early) was a Q&A with Brad Dourif. This was the event of the weekend for me. It's so amazing hearing him talk cos he's got That Voice He's a man with some interesting stories indeed, not least a great story about Werner Herzog and Klaus Kinski (they're always good stories) and a wonderful one about Christopher Lee but they're too long to go into here, and I couldn't tell them nearly as well as he could, so what's the point? What's great is that when he's telling a story and gets all excited he starts to sound like Chucky. Little bit of back story on me; I've been in love with Chucky movies since I was about 7 years old and was OBSESSED with Child's Play 1 and 2 well before Jamie Bulger happened. Then I wasn't allowed anymore. That just made Chucky even cooler. Anyhoo, he spoke a little about what it was like working on One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Lord of the Rings and Deadwood. It was very exciting and he speaks really well about his craft. He loves his work (not so much the Chucky movies, but he's damned territorial about him).

On Sunday, the final day. Again, I up early for a Q&A with Italian horror director Ruggero Deodata. I'm sure you've all heard of the notorious video nasty Cannibal Holocaust, well this was his film. A very very sick and controversial film, with a lot to say about the dishonest nature of the media and misrepresentation of the truth. It's a tough one to watch, but ultimately very worthwhile. He spoke very little English so that was kind of annoying because there was a translator. But he was interesting and it was great to hear about the film's release and notorious court case. This involved an actress who had been impaled on a stick in the film. She disappeared after the film wrapped and the scene was so convincing that the filmmakers were arrested on suspicion of actually killing her on set. They eventually found her and all was well. It's a great effect though. I can see why the judges were so convinced of its authenticity. He then talked a little about The Blair Witch Project, which is very similar in presmise (and in my opinion, in premise alone) to Cannibal Holocaust. As soon as he heard about it he got on the phone to his lawyers and tried to sue them for $2million. Seems a little harsh if you ask me. It feel through in the end though, at least there's some justice in the world.

After Ruggero Deodata I wandered around the shopping stalls and I went and got my Brad Dourif autograph and that would have been nice if I wasn't such an awkward eejit and vomited nonsensical words at the poor man. But anyway, he was nice and he signed my Chucky photo. After that I watched a documentary about Ted V. Mikaels who is a trash (oooh, he doesn't like that word!) filmmaker who I'd never heard of but am now very interested in. He made films such as The Corpse Grinders and Astro Zombies...yes, he's THAT kitschy It was interesting but I left early to go see Sean Astin, Samwise Gamgee himself. He didn't have a moderator and actually just stood in front of a room of thousands and nattered for an hour. Seriously, this guy can talk. When we were outside waiting to go in, he happened to be standing beside me. He looked at the long queue and said to the guy next to him "Are all these people here to see me? Awww". Aww, indeed, Sean. Anyway, he had a lot to say about Lord of the Rings and The Goonies and working with Adam Sandler. He's an interesting guy. Then last but not least I went to a Q&A with Sid Haig who I pretty much only knew as Captain Spaulding in House of 1000 Corpses. I'm not a fan of the Rob Zombie films but I do like that guy. He's a great character actor. Anyway, he was really cool and told some great stories about life as an indie actor and passing up on the MArcellus Wallace role in Pulp Fiction. He cried too, telling stories about his grandparents. Not a guy you'd expect to see shedding tears so that was interesting.

Sunday night then was the big event. The screening of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre with Tobe Hooper. We got to see it on this great mucky print on a big screen. And Tobe Hooper talked for over an hour afterwards which was cool. Like Wes Craven, I didn't find him all that interesting. He answered questions in circles and didn't really say much of anything despie talking for ages. But it's always a treat to hear a filmmaker talk about their art. He did mention that his next project is an adaptation of Stephen King's non-horror From a Buick 8. That's exciting given the wonderful job he did on Salem's Lot.

All in all, it was a great weekend. I'm suffering from something very similar to music festival fatigue at the moment but I had SUCH a great time, I'm thinking of flying back for it next year.

Nerds are funny...seriously.

- Charlene Lydon 24/08/08

Tropic Thunder

"I don't read the script, the script reads me"

Written By: Ben Stiller, Etan Cohen, Justin Theroux

Directed By: Ben Stiller

Starring: Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr, Jack Black, Jay Baruchel, Brandon T. Jackson, Matthew McConaghey, Tom Cruise

My rating 8/10

As far as stupid blockbuster comedies go, the only thing this film is missing is Will Ferrell. As close to perfect as big dumb summer movies get, Tropic Thunder is refreshingly disrespectful, delightfully satirical and a wonderful load of fun! With it's stupidly talented cast, I have to admit, my expectations for this film were sky high from about 6 months ago when I first saw the trailer. I wasn't disappointed, except perhaps with Tom Cruise's much-lauded role a s foul-mouthed movie producer Les Grossman.

Tropic Thunder is not only a brilliantly written, brilliantly acted film. It is also a fun action flick with plenty of explosions and gore. The film follows a bunch of vacuous Hollywood stereotypes (and one unpretentious up-and-comer, nicely played by Jay Baruchel) as they trek through a real-life drug war, unaware that the gunfire and explosions are anything more than guerilla filmmaking. Tugg Speedman (Stiller) is trying to come to terms with a flailing career, Kirk Lazarus (Downey Jr.) is a blonde Australian Oscar-winner taking "the method" too far, playing a black sargeant and in the process driving the actually black rapper-turned-actor Alpa Chino (Brandon T. Jackson) crazy with his refusal to come out of character. Jack Black plays Jeff Portnoy whose fart-filled movies are losing him the respect of his peers. He has also just lost his heroin stash to a rogue bat and is going through serious withdrawal when they come across the heroin processing plant. All of these characters, and all of the supporting characters are wonderfully simple and therfore easy to just sit back and enjoy.

Similarly to Stiller's earlier genius comedy, Zoolander, this movie hits all the scathing marks it aims for. Matthew McConaghey is brilliant as Cruise's agent who is desperately trying negotiate Tugg's TIVO, as stipulated in his contract, meanwhile being blissfully unaware of how far beyond contract things have actually gotten. His encounters with corporate slimeball Les Grossman (Tom Cruise) are funny and at times Cruise's performance is wonderful, let's not forget, he's still one of the greatest actors of our generation no matter how nuts and possibly evil he is. However, the performance takes a downturn into desperation as he moves into Goldmember territory with hip hop dance routines. It's a extremely cringe-worthy and it's a bit too clear how much Cruise is banking on this cameo to ensure his return to "hip with the kids" status. Hmmmm...didn't do it for me.

Anyway, as the story progresses, knocking down retards, blacks and fat folks as it goes, it becomes an action-packed extravaganza, but never forgets it's comedic responsibilities. I loved it! I loved it's irreverence for everything, it's sharply observed characters and it's brilliant, brilliant performances. Forget the Joker, my vote's for Kirk Lazarus "the dude playing a dude disguised as another dude".

Go see this movie, it's just simply a good movie. You'll enjoy it. And don't be a sap and get offended. It plays the South Park card and offends so many types of people that it therefore offends no-one.

- Charlene Lydon 14/08/08

The Orphanage

Directed By: Juan Antonia Bayona

Written By: Sergio G. Sanchez

Starring: Belen Rueda, Fernando Caya, Geraldine Chaplin

My Rating: 8/10

When a famous director "presents" a movie it generally means it's a bad b-movie. Wes Craven, Quentin Tarantino and Tobe Hooper deserve a good finger-wagging for the crimes against audiences that they have endorsed. Guillermo Del Toro, however, has proven himself to be a somewhat more trustworthy advocate. The Orphange is a wonderfully eerie and tragic tale about a woman who buys her old orphanage to turn into a home for sick children. After her son goes missing mysteriously, she tries to find him with the help of the ghosts from her past.

As the film starts it has the air of a tragic tale from the outset. Laura's adopted son is very ill, suffering from HIV. Not the start of you typical horror movie. The orphange itself holds many secrets and there is a creepy old lady pretending to be a social worker lurking around. The film is unsettling from the start, if a little standard. As it progresses however, it becomes more apparent that there is a thin line between ghosts and hallucinations. However, the film never really confirms either reality.

Much like Del Toro's Pan's Layrinth and The Devil's Backbone (to which this film owes a tremendous debt), the filmmaker never takes the side of supernatural or craziness. This makes for a nice comfort zone of believability and adds layers to interpretation to every incident in the film. There are a lot of questions left unanswered, but the film has a satisfying, if tragic denoument that really sets it apart from other creepy haunted house movies.

Definitely check this out. It is creepy, but ultimately a delicate human tragedy of madness and guilt.

- Charlene Lydon 11/08/08

The Lost Boys: The Tribe

"Who ordered the stake?"

Directed By: PJ Pesce

Written By: Hans Rodionoff

My rating: 3/10

Ok, Buffy can say "Who ordered the stake" and get away with it...Corey Feldman cannot!

I'll be honest and admit that I only rented this movie out of divilment and never thought for a second it would be anything more than something to make fun of. Unfortunately for me, it didn't fall into the category of "so bad it's at least entertaining". It took itself quite seriously and was just so heart-wrenchingly standard it was almost upsetting. However, if you're one of those people who just like horror movies and you'll enjoy nearly anything, then this will satisfy. It's got some nice gore and it has some nice vampire ladies for the boys! For fans of the original, this film will disappoint. The first movie was cheesy, yes. But it was delightfully innocently cheesy and it also had a genuinely clever script. This film is just medicority embodied.

The plot follows newcomers Chris (Stifler's Brother from American Pie: Band Camp, hmmm) and Nicole (replacement Mischa Barton from The O.C.), brother and sister who have more sexual chemistry than acting skills, which is disturbing. Apparently, according to interviews with the crew, these kids are supposed to be Michal and Star's children. This is never referenced and is just silly. Anyway, they come to town and are seduced by vamps. Chris must save his sister from a life of goth-hood. That's about it. Oh and the head vampire is played by Kiefer Sutherland's half-brother. I guess that could be called a nod to the original.

The Frog Bothers are now the Frog Brother, Edgar (Corey Feldman). The other Frog Brother is not referenced (until briefly at the end, we'll get back to that). Edgar is pretty much the same character as he was in the first one. To be honest, you hardly even notice that he's a grown-up now. He's still as deep-voiced and vicious as always and this character works, for the most part, but as per my first remark he really should lay off the cheesy slayer-speak. The end of the movie is a brief, pointless reference to the other Frog brother, and Sam, our teenage hero from the first movie which suggests some sort of mythology the audience is not aware of. Why? I dunno! Makes little sense! Why not just make a movie about what happened to Sam and the other Frog brother? Be sure to check out the alternative endings on the DVD, they make waaaaay more sense than the endings they used.

This is a silly little horror film, and all references to the original genius Lost Boys movie are purely cosmetic. Nothing sets this apart from any other straight to video horror flick...but curiosity killed the cat as they say, so if you must rent it (like me), don't get your hopes up too high.

- Charlene Lydon 11/08/08

Step-Brothers

"You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck!"

Written By: Will Ferrell, Adam McKay

Directed By: Adam McKay

Starring: Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Mary Steenburgen, Richard Jenkins.

My rating: 6/10

The set-up for Step-Brothers involves Nancy (Mary Steenburgen)and Robert (Richard Jenkins) an older couple who fall in love, get married and try to prepare to spend their retirement days living on their boat. Trouble is, both have brought a 40 year-old son who refuses to grow up into the marriage. Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly play these new step-brothers and "play" is the operative word here, as they let totally loose and have an enormous amount of fun with these characters. Although both are well capable of playing serious roles, they have both made goofy over-acting into a lovable art-form.

The set-up for Step-Brothers is definitely one of the most tantalising I'd heard in ages and ages. The second I heard about the general idea I thought to myself that all is forgiven for Talladega Nights and this pairing of Ferrell and Reilly as infantile brothers was the greatest stroke of genius ever. As predicted, this pair are great together and they bounce off each other really well. Although they play really similar characters, they both have their own personality that they bring to the film.

However, it's hard not to be a bit disappointed with how the film turned out. Similarly to Talladega Nights, the creative team seem to get a bit caught up in having fun with improv and it all gets a little lost in the mayhem. I like dick and fart jokes as much as the next guy...but certainly not as much as THESE guys. Not to be a prude or anything, but there's just too much of it here. They start to get unfunny after a whole. And who wants to see Will Ferrell's ball sack rubbed all over a drum set. No-one!

Step-brothers is by no means more disappointing than Talladega Nights which was downright retarded, but it's slightly too over-the-top for it's own good. However, I dare you not to howl laughing at certain points in the film. It's difficult not to join in with the enthusiasm shown by the actors involved. Kudos must be given to Adam Scott who plays Will Ferrell's brilliantly awful brother who is, I guess, the villain of the piece. He's a smug, horrible guy who we just loooove to hate. His performance was great and I seriously felt like punching him throughout the movie...a sign of a job well done.

So, to sum up, this movie is good, way better than Talladega Nights, but suffers a little from "coulda been" syndrome. It let itself go a little too wild, not grounding itself in reality, which lessens the impact of two such crazy lead characters. It's fun, you'll laugh, but it's a pretty standard film from what could've been a classic.

- Charlene Lydon 11/08/08

You Don't Mess With the Zohan

"I just want to make people silky-smooth!"

Written by: Adam Sandler & Robert Smigel

Directed by: Dennis Dugan

Starring: Adam Sandler, John Turturro, Rob Schneider.

My rating: 5/10

I can't help it. All film lovers, no matter how well educated have their downfall. It seems mine is Adam Sandler (I have many, but he's a serious one). I have loved him since The Wedding Singer and have sat through some of the worst movies of my life because of him. But I always forgive him and I always see the best in them. After all, one thing you have to say about Sandler is that he seems like a pretty genuine guy. Thats why his films wind up being so crap a lot of the time, fun in favour of quality. That has to count for something right? Right? Anyone?

Well, You Don't Mess With the Zohan is something of a comfort zone for me. It's not a great movie but it doesn't offend me with it's crapness. Unlike I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry or Little Nicky which I found offensively bad. Zohan is too juvenile to loathe. It follows military hero Zohan (Adam Sandler) as he fakes his own death to ditch being a national hero in Israel and moves to New York to be a hairdresser armed with a fab new bouffant and a Paul Mitchell hairstyle book from the 1980s. Unfortunately, he doesn't know that the hairdressing world has moved on. However, he find his niche in a small hairdresser and falls for the owner who hates him (surprise! I wonder will she come round...). Things are going well until his Palestinian arch-nemesis Phantom tracks him down.

Zohan will probably not make you fall off your seat laughing but it will probably make you smile. Adam Sandler is his usual goofball self and his usual motley crew of character actors help to make this movie work. It's dreadfully silly, some people are offended that the politics are being brushed over/made fun of. I think it's charming. Leave your brain at home and maybe you'll get a few laughs out of this one!

- Charlene Lydon 31/9/08

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Written & Directed By: Woody Allen

Starring: Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz,Scarlett Johanssen, Rebecca Hall

My rating: 9/10

I have been a huge Woody Allen fan since the day I saw The Purple Rose of Cairo back in the early 90's. His sharp dialogue, complex relationships and really cool characters living where I want to live and having careers that I want. What's not to love about Woody Allen movies? The problem is, the past few Woody Allen films, actually anything after Bullets Over Broadway have made me feel a bit empty afterwards. Usually they're enjoyable enough (The Curse of the Jade Scorpion excluded) but afterwards there's just a feeling of lack of effort or that Woody Allen has forgotten how to be Woody Allen. Vicky Cristina Barcelona is the first time I've really felt a spark from him in well over a decade.

Set in sunny Barcelona, the film has a warm, enticing glow to it that is rare in Allen's dreary, New York-set films. This seems to rub off on his characters because they all seem to be a little bit sunnier than his usual characters. Not that there isn't darkly complex human emotion going on here, it's here in spades.

Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlett Johanssen)are on summer holidays in Barcelona, staying with Vicky's aunt. Vicky and Cristina, the narrator points out, could not be more different when it comes to men. Vicky needs stability and Cristina prefers grand romantic love affairs that always end abruptly and badly. When the pair meet sexy painter Juan Antonio they are both eventually seduced by his passion and his seemingly genuine romantic heart. As Cristina enters into a relationship with him, his ex-wife, crazy genius Marie-Elena (Penelope Cruz) comes back into his life and they live together and bond together as a threesome in love, finally giving Cristina a passionate realtionship and also making Juan Antonio and Marie-Elena's relationship work. In the meantime, Vicky marries her fiancee, boring Doug who seems to only talk about the house they're going to buy when they get home. Vicky, swayed and confused by the temptation of loving someone with passion and charisma but who will surely hurt her must struggle with her feelings as the events of the summer play out.

The reason why this film works is because each character is written in the most truly animated way. They are neurotic and playful and fascinating. Everyone here deserves credit for their performances. They are all wonderful and the chemistry between all the leads is electric. Woody Allen's sharp dialogue harkens back to when he was the top of his game. Lately, he may be accused of being a bit too Woody Allen but missing the mark but here his banter is perfectly scripted and his characters are full of life. I found it marvellous how he captured the essence of a generation of women that must be alien to him, at his age. He portrays Vicky perfectly and her conflict between passion and stability and I loved his willingness to make fun of Cristina's pretentiousness and lack of interest in anything other than the cool bohemian lifestyle.

A lot has been made of the love scene between Scarlett Johanssen and Penelope Cruz. I hate to burst anyone's bubble but you pretty much see most of it in the trailer. However, the film bursts with sexual energy throughout which is a credit to the enthusiasm of its cast. Penelope Cruz gives a truly standout performance here. Babbling in Spanish about love and art and craziness, she is on fire in every one of her scenes and she and real-life lover Javier Bardem are great together onscreen. Hopefully she won't be denied an Oscar this year after the Academy failed to reward her for her wonderful work on Almodovar's Volver.

I highly recommend this film. If you're a Woody Allen fan, it's a refreshingly upbeat (if ultimately as pessimistic as his other films) film that truly modernises his original brilliance and remind us why we loved him in the first place. If you're not a fan of Woody Allen, there's enough here to entertain you anyway. It doesn't parade his stamp around like many of his films do. It's an enjoyable comedy/drama about the nature of passionate love and asks whether it exists at all and if it does, can it ever survive?

- Charlene Lydon 31/07/08

Son of Rambow

"This has been my best day ever!"

Written & Directed by: Garth Jennings

Starring: Will Poulter, Bill Milner, Jessica Stevenson

My Rating: 4/10

If there's one thing that really gets my goat it's films selling themselves as the next big indie thing and it turns out its a marketing ploy and its not actually that indie at all.
Son of Rambow is directed by Garth Jennings of such "indie" favourites as The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Oh come on! The way people went on about this film, I was expecting handheld camcorder and a thousand pound budget. It is nothing of the sort. Like last year's Juno, it is directed by a pro who has proven he can make a glossy big-budget Hollywood film. I know its immature to dog a film for this reason but I can't help it. It's downright infuriating.

Ok, all that aside, it's an ok movie. It's very Hollywood, it's very standard and didn't have half the charm or sweetness I'd envisioned. The story revolves around bad boy Lee and good boy Will who is part of a religion that does not allow television. So when he sees a pirate version of First Blood he sets about helping Lee make a movie, Son of Rambo (the "w" in the Rambow of the title is added for copyright reasons. What a world we live in!). The usual trials and tribulations occur and there's the obligatory happy ending. Forget the annoying marketing for a second, there's just nothing memorable about this film. It's pretty run-of-the-mill. It's funny, and enjoyable (though it drags a little in parts) but its got nice performances and a good deal of imagination.

I guess all you need to know about Son of Rambow is that there's nothing very offensive about it, but then again, there's not much to love either. See it if you're bored on a saturday night. You'll have fun.

- Charlene Lydon 28/7/08

The X-Files: I Want To Believe

"Let's just say I want to believe"

Written By: Frank Spotnitz, Chris Carter

Directed By: Chris Carter

Starring, David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Billy Connolly

My Rating: 6/10

So, after the torturous final seasons and another torturous 6 year wait, this was the best they could come up with! I am loathe to be critical of this film because I know it was made for the right reasons. It was a labour of love, however misguided and its very clear that everyone involved really wanted more films to come their way. So it's with a heavy heart that I must admit it wasn't wonderful. It wasn't awful! But unfortunately, as my friend exclaimed as the credits rolled "I've seen better episodes in Season 9!".

The film starts off 6 years after we left Mulder and Scully on the lam from the FBI, lying in bed together in a motel. If I was running from the FBI, based in Washington D.C., I would definitely run further than the countryside of Virginia. Not Mulder and Scully! They live together in a modest home in the country side. She is a paediatrician and he's a recluse who seems to do little other than cut weird stories from the newspaper and wallpaper his office. The FBI come along and offer to forget the past if Fox Mulder will come on board to help them with a case. Naturally, Mulder agrees, much to Scully's chagrin as it brings back the darkness of their past into the new life they've built together.

Billy Connolly plays a paedophile priest, Fr. Joe who claims to have psychic visions of the abductor of several women in the area. Mulder is needed as an expert to figure out if Fr. Joe is for real. Scully, with her love for children and still raw wounds of having to send her son William off to live on a farm, instantly hates Fr. Joe and this makes for some wonderfully biting dialogue (Scully: "Do you think God listens to your prayers?" Fr. Joe: "Do you think he listens to yours?" Scully: "Well, I didn't bugger thirty-seven altar boys").

The story moves along slowly and by the time we find out whats really going on it's hard not to feel like they should have given us more of this and less suspense. The final act and answer to the mystery is very very cool, but is hardly given any screen time.

Ok, so what's wrong with it? First of the horribly dated print that looked like a reject from the 1980s. With their meagre budget it seems they shot on pieces of film they found on the floor of the studios basement. I know it seems like a small thing, but it really effects the tone of a film. The aesthetic quality of the film is completely lost on such shoddy prints. At least the first movie looked fantastic. This, coupled with a pretty messy script made for an uneasy two hours.

What's right with it? First of all, the performances are as wonderful as ever. Gillian Anderson gets her acting chops out in full force here as almost every scene she's in is an emotional rollercoaster. Duchovny is his usual droll self but horrible underused. It's nice to see Scully shine for once, but really, Mulder was written like a bit of an idiot. When Mulder and Scully are together on screen, they both seem like they were never away. Their interaction has changed somewhat as they have settled into their romance and their love has deepened but of course become more blasse. Of course we miss the raging sexual tension but I loved that Carter had the balls to let them be realistic and not just give into the mob's demand for sex. He put Mulder and Scully exactly where they would be. Still each other's only other but domesticated. As the events of the film begin to tear them apart, you can see the strain and the fear in Scully of returning to that dark place that they've been before. You can't help but feel sorry for her and blame any over-reaction on her part on panic. Will it be the end of them? You have to wait for about two minutes into the end credits to see what the future holds in store for Mulder and Scully. I promise you the weirdest, most out of place image thats ever been committed to celluloid.

Personally, I am glad of where the story of Mulder and Scully went in this film. I would have loved to see them a bit more together and not unhappy and being torn apart. The tone couldn've used a bit of lightening up. Feeling more like an episode of Millenium than The X-Files, it's extremely dark and almost devoid of humour, which is unfortunate because that's where The X-Files and its stars really shine. So, I'll be content with this mediocre film and hope they're allowed make another one and that God sends Vince Gilligan or Darin Morgan back into the fray to write it. That's what I want to believe!

I still love you Mulder and Scully!

- Charlene Lydon

28/7/08

Stephen King's "N"

Dear Constant Readers (ha ha, like I have any, apart from my boyfriend who is actually only a casual reader, probably out of pity)

This is a new Stephen King project that looks interesting. It's based on a short story from his forthcoming short story collection Just After Sunset (released 11/11/08). Anyway, a new episode will appear daily so I thought it would be nice to put it on my blog for you, Constant Reader, to enjoy while you're not reading my manic crazy X-Files review.

Enjoy,

Charlene

Somebody calm me down....

...3 days and counting till

The X-Files: I Want to Believe

Bottle Shock

Written By:Jody Savin & Randall Miller

Directed By: Randall Miller

Starring: Alan Rickman, Bill Pullman, Chris Pine, Rachael Taylor

My Rating: 4/10

What a wonderful story! How Californian wines rose from obscurity through the tangled vines of snobbery to become some of the most revered and popular wines on today's market.

Bottle Shock tells the true story of how a disillusioned wine merchant living in Paris travelled to California in 1976 to gather wines to be sampled in a blind taste test by some of France's most reknowned wine connoisseurs. As the story goes, the Californian wine whooped the ass of the French wine and thus overcame French snobbery (no, they didn't, but it overcame it for a brief moment. Long enough to allow the rest of the world to see).

The wine merchant in question is played by Alan Rickman who is his usual charmingly horrible self. He is the hero of the piece, despite being a cantankerous know-it-all. That is the beauty of casting Alan Rickman. He can make any character kinda likeable.

So far so good right? The perfect seeds for a wonderful story. It's a shame then that someone thought it would be a good idea to add a bunch of horny teenager plotlines and focus more on stoner loser Bo, the vineyard owner's son and some sort of nonsense love triangle with poor Mexican wine-lover Gustavo. Instead of focussing on Bill Pullman's complicated Jim Barrett (the obsessive, aggressive owner of the vineyard), it completely skirts over him, making him almost impossible to like. That's a shame becasue he was an interesting character that mostly just came off like a prick because of lazy writing.

However, studios will be studios and audiences like pretty girls with blonde hair and boobies. Hence the kissing amongst the vines and the comic scene of flashing a police officer. Scenes like these are what destroyed this perfectly adorable story.

There's no bad performances here. Everyone is pretty much good at their job but there's such a clear line between what the film could've been (Rickman v. Pullman) and what it turned into (blonde teengers v. grown-ups). It's a shame because it had a lot of potential. See it for the interesting story, and start saving your pennies for a bottle of Chateau Montelene chardonnay which retails at about $40 a bottle. Whoosh!

- Charlene Lydon

The Dark Knight (here be spoilers)

"You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

Written by: Jonathan & Christopher Nolan

Directed by: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart


My rating: 8/10

Ok, that The Dark Knight has reached the No. 1 spot on IMDB's precious Top 250 Films of all time in less than 3 days says nothing to me other than people are idiots! I think this is a truly excellent piece of cinema but seriously, fanboys, get a life!

Enough venting...on with the review.

I am one of the very few people who didn't like Batman Begins. I didn't like it for a number of reasons. Mostly, the nonsensical and boring plot, and the dull as a mallet villains. I also hated Batman's stupid voice. It's a small thing, but it drove me nuts. However, I was pretty hopeful for this sequel because I knew for a fact that the villains were more interesting, and the film would be overall more entertaining because of this. Luckily, I was right.

The film really tells the tale of the fragile nature of heroism and villainy. The three main characters Batman, The Joker and Harvey Dent all revolve around the notion of what it means to be a hero. Bruce Wayne is convinced that the new District Attorney, Harvey Dent, is the white knight that Gotham needs. An uncorruptable, brave and, most importantly, good man. If Harvey can keep gaining power, they will no longer need Batman to clean up Gotham and Batman can be free. The Joker, a chillingly carefree criminal who cares not for money, humanity or even himself is in town merely to create chaos and enjoys playing moral games with people, highlighting how easy it is to get in touch with one's own dark side.

Insofar as this hero/villain dichotomy goes, The Dark Knight succeeds tremendously. Mostly due to the wonderful performances by absolutely everyone involved. The man of the hour, Heath Ledger delivers a fantastic performance as The Joker and it is a shame he didn't live to see the world enjoy this performance objectively. It's hard to see clearly through all the hype, but it is a solid, wonderfully creative performance from a seriously gifted actor.

However, I have to say, it was Aaron Eckhart's Harvey Dent that did it for me. He completely stole the show and every moment he was on screen, I was thrilled by not only his presence, but his ability to create a genuinely wholesome man out of what could have been so cheesy. Eckhart's performance is a lot more understated than The Joker, so bound to get less attention (plus, he's not dead, so we can look forward to seeing a lot more from him). However, his creation of Harvey and his convincing portayal of his dark side took a lot of charisma. His tragic downfall (I'm pretty sure I'm not spoiling anything here) is truly tragic and upsetting to see how he is used and manipulated by The Joker.

This is a superhero movie that will be talked about for years to come and is certainly one of the best (but who can even compare it to the kitsch of Spider-Man, which is pretty perfect in its own right). At almost two and a half hours, however, it's a bit of a stetch and if you ask me there's at least twenty minutes of set-up involving a very showy sequence in Hong-Kong that is completely unnecessary. The script overall had a lot of holes (when did Rachel get kidnapped?? I know it's not absolutely necessary to see it, but she just shows up kidnapped!!). And some kind of Sonar device which is just really stupidly over-the-top and conveniently pseudo-sciencey.

...Oh and Batman's voice is still ridiculous!!

However, despite these flaws, it is still a top-notch film and certainly the best summer blockbuster you'll see this year...yes, even The X-Files: I Want to Believe won't top this, I'm not that deluded.

Charlene Lydon 21/07/08

Dr Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog

"I have a Ph.D in horribleness"

Written by: Joss Whedon, Zac Whedon, Jed Whedon, Maurissa Tancharoen

Directed by: Joss Whedon

Starring: Neil Patrick Harris, Nathan Fillion, Felicia Day

My rating: 10/10

Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog came from the bored, genius mind of Joss Whedon during the recent Writer's Strike. Because he was not allowed to do any work, his mind wandered on to a non-union side project available to watch for free online. This project was to be shown in three acts, each almost 15 minutes long. It was to be strictly internet only (although there is talk of an imminent DVD release, fingers crossed).

The story is about a wanna be evil genius, Dr. Horrible (Neil Patrick Harris), a nerdy loser with a flair for flamboyant science. He is in love with Penny, a girl he meets at the laundromat but doesn't have the nerve to talk to her. He must prove his worth by being accepted into the Evil League of Evil so he can find the confidence to ask her out. The only problem is, "cheesy on the outside" Captain Hammer also has eyes for her. Dr Horrible must battle Captain Hammer for both evil staus and Penny's heart.

First off, this work is not only revolutionary in its use of the internet medium, but it is also brilliant! Brilliantly funny, brilliantly tragic, brilliantly acted, brilliantly sung. The script is spot-on, the tone is spot-on and the songs are spot-on. The only variable here is your tolerance for the style of Joss Whedon. His ultra-hip turns of phrase and too witty to be believed banter can grate on some. But to others, it just helps to make the Buffyverse, and all it encapsulates, all the richer.

The first act starts with about 5 minutes of straight to camera video blog monologue from Dr. Horrible. Neil Patrick Harris absolutely nails the tone necessary to pull off this character. As with most of Whedon's characters they only work in the hands of the right people. Luckily he has a knack for casting and that explains his casting of Nathan Fillion as Captain Hammer. Joss knew a good thing when he found Fillion for the role of Captain Mal Reynolds in Firefly. He uses him to tremendous comic effect here. Nathan Fillion's asshole super hero is the perfect foil to our hero, the villainous Dr. Horrible.

The second act sees Dr. Horrible crumble as he sees Penny's relationship with Captain Hammer deepen. The third act takes as darker tone and the comedy fades and gives way to a tragic moral tale. Joss Whedon isn't just fancy one-liners folks. He's all about the heartbreak too. However disconcerting the final act was, in relation to the first two, it certainly proved that Joss is a daring storyteller and just an all-round genius who can do no wrong....hold your breath for his new show Dollhouse. Woo-hoo!

I know 10 out of 10 seems dramatic. But seriously, it's too silly to be called flawed and too joyous to criticise. It's about as perfect as silliness can be, but with a tragic punch to knock your socks off.

Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog is no longer available to watch for free online. It can be downloaded on i-Tunes, or if you're feeling naughty it can probably be You-Tubed :)

www.drhorrible.com

- Charlene Lydon 21/07/08

Lars and the Real Girl

"Bianca's in town for a reason"

Written by: Nancy Oliver

Directed by: Craig Gillespie

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Paul Schneider, Emily Mortimer

My rating: 7/10

What happens when you cross the writer of televisions "Six Feet Under" and the director of last years funniest guilty pleasure "Mr Woodcock"? You get a warm-hearted, absurdly high concept comedy with a dark centre but also a lot of love. For many reasons "Lars and the Real Girl" is a strange film. For the fact that it makes a movie about a man and his sex doll, and immediately reveals that he has no intention of using it for sex. For the mixed bag of talent involved in the project and for the fact that, given the subject matter, all sex jokes are made in the first 20 minutes.

The story follows 27 year old lovable loner, Lars, who suddenly springs on his family that he met a girl on the internet and they are in love and can she stay with them for a while. His family are ecstatic until they realise she is a rubber sex doll. They soon realise that he is suffering a delusion and they, and the whole town, agree to go along with it so he can work through the stuff thats causing the problems in his head.

This is where you must suspend your disbelief a little; but by that point you've fallen in love with Lars as much as the town have and you can see why they are so willing to help this gentle, if insane man.

It is not a perfect film and it gets really nonsensical towards the end unfortunately, but it never offends, it always has its heart in the right place. I get the feeling that the writers traded quality for tearjerking in the final act, which is a pity because it doesn't do Lars's character justice. There's also the problem of the love interest (the human one) who doesn't have any actual character and was a little too convenient for my liking.

Despite its flaws, I found it impossible to dislike this film. It was charming, sweet and there were wonderful performances from all concerned. Ryan Gosling was fantastic as Lars and Emily Mortimer and Paul Schneider who played his brother and sister-in-law were equally charming and believable.

Check it out, at the very least it is an entertaining comedy, and at best its a warm parable about love and tolerance.

- Charlene Lydon 02/06/08

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

"Not as easy as it used to be"

Written by: George Lucas, David Koepp

Directed by: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Shia LeBeof

My rating: 4/10

As far as Steven Spielberg is concerned, if he's not making pretentious terrorist buddy movies (Munich) Hollywood is just one big piggy bank. I've never really understood people who believe he is some kind of renegade cinematic revolutionary. However competant and emotive a filmmaker he may be, I never saw Spielberg as anything other than a blockbuster tycoon, a better one than Michael Bay, but with the same dollar signs in his eyes. That's why it came as no surprise to me that he was re-hashing Indiana Jones. I'm not trying to be hard on Mr. Spielberg, but it's hard to deal with his constant accolades when he's producing nonsense like this.

The pointless fourth installment of the Indiana Jones series brings Indy to Peru in an attempt to return a Crystal Skull to its rightful resting place. He finds a sidekick in cocky young "greaser" Mutt (Shia LeBoef, when are they gonna stop with trying to make him the next big thing, seriously??) who shows very Indy-like resourcefulness leading to the most obvious plot twist ever in the history of cinema.

There are parts of the movie where the action is interesting and some where its just plain silly (surviving a nuclear blast in a FRIDGE anyone? No problems with fallout? No broken limbs after said fridge been blasted across the desert??). And the overall Roswell/Peru/Alien plot is just too much, even for Indy.

Despite people's negative response to Cate Blanchett's villain, I quite liked her. I think she encapsulated everything about a typical Indy villian. She is a fine actress and this shone through in her less than meaty role. The other small charcters, notably Mutt and Mac (Ray Winstone) were completely one-dimensional and despairingly functional. John Hurt looked like he was having trmendous fun. Silly, I can handle. Boring, I won't tolerate.

Maybe bring the kids to see this. There's enough carry-on with monkeys and whatnot to keep them entertained and Indiana himsef manages to whip up a slight spark of his borderline magical self, but its really a half-arsed effort and I would recommend saving your money for more interesting summer blockbusters (X-Files anyone?).

- Charlene Lydon 26/5/08

Stop-Loss

"I ain't scared, I'm pissed off!"

Written by: Mark Richard & Kimberley Peirce

Directed by: Kimberley Peirce

Starring: Ryan Phillipe, Abby Cornish, Channing Tatum

My rating: 5/10

The stop-loss policy is a clause in every soldier's military contract that in times of war, they may be re-drafted immediately after their tour of duty has been served.

In the case of this film's hero Brandon, he is stop-lossed immediately after returning home from a horrific tour in Iraq. He and his men return home as heroes (the ones who survived) and just as he is revelling in his local celebrity status, he is informed that he must ship back out to Iraq, despite having served his tour of duty. Brandon refuses on principle and goes on the run to try avoid his fate. From home, he is faced with both support and also accusations of being a traitor. As his army buddies fall to pieces from post-traumatic stress, Brandon must decide whether to keep running forever, or to return to Iraq.

This is an emotional,two-sided debate about the ethical correctness of the stop-loss system. It's pretty much against the system but it certainly allows room for argument as many points are raised in favour of stop-lossing and why it is a necessary evil. There is a sense in this film that had it not been made by MTV Films, it would have stood a chance at being taken seriously. Too many hot, beefy men. Too many partying scenes. I got the sense that it was really, seriously trying way too hard to appeal to the young, hip generation. The poster for example looks like a gender-reversed Maxin spread. It's hard to pinpoint what it is exactly that gave this film its MTV feel, but it desperately needed a subtler tone, something along the lines of last years In the Valley of Elah.

The tragic events in the film, such as young arrogant Tommy's (Joseph Gordon Levitt, not to be confused with his teenage alien Tommy from 3rd Rock) descent into darkness and the general malaise of Brandon's friends and family are well-acted and overall the performances here are really, really strong. It's a shame that the overall tone of the film cheapens it so much because otherwise it could have been really interesting with a lot to say.

I guess it isn't the worst way to spend two hours of your life, but really there are so many other, better things you could be watching.

- Charlene Lydon 23/05/2008

In Bruges

"If I'd grown up on a farm and was retarded, Bruges might impress me, but I didn't, so it doesn't."

Written & Directed by: Martin McDonagh

Starring: Brendan Gleeson, Colin Farrell, Ralph Fiennes

My rating 5/10

In Bruges is Martin McDonagh's first feature, following on from his triumphant Oscar-winning short Six Shooter (2004). It's the story of two Dublin gangsters (Gleeson and Farrell) on the run from Ireland. Their boss, Harry (Ralph Fiennes)sends them to Bruges, Belgium to hide out. Grumpy Ray (Farrell)hates the fact that he has to be away from his precious Dublin while Ken is enjoying the break and taking in the quiet and pretty surroundings.

The film starts off really well and the chemistry between the leads is wonderful. Their adventures in Bruges ramble along almost arbitrarily and it is overall an enjoyable experience. In the second half of the film, however, the film takes a turn into typical gangster fare that we've all seen a hundred times. The introduction of Ralph Fiennes character was so late in the film that the film changed tone and felt like an entirely different film. This is unfortunate, as it had been going along so well at the start.

By far the best thing about In Bruges is Brendan Gleeson's wonderful portrayal of Ken, a man full of regret and in search of peace. Of course, this is a staple of the gangster genre and there's nothing original about this type of character. However, Gleeson's performance transcends stereotypes and make you feel heartbroken as you see him grasp on to the purity and innocence of being a tourist, while he is being dragged back into his own murky world.

Colin Farrell, on the other hand, was really dead in this one. I'm usually a fan. He's a wonderful actor and he has proven he can play a young Irish blaggard in Intermission (2003). Here, however, not only is he over-playing the role, but he seems to have forgotten what it is to be a Dubliner. He played it like an outsider. Maybe he's been in Hollywood too long.

Despite its drawbacks, this is a very entertaining film and its themes of torturous regret and the inescapable circle of karma give it a little extra emotional punch that allows it to rise above the Guy Ritchie league of gangster films.

It's worth a look, but it won't blow your mind.

- Charlene Lydon 22/5/2008